Showing your Husband the Light: Jesus Christ in You!

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.  Matthew 5:16

Dear Ladies,  many of us are so familiar with Matthew 5:16, that we really do not put much thought to it.  It has become "cliche" to many and lost much valuable meaning.   I know many whom succeed quite well in shining Christ's light while out and about "before men", however, some of these same women, unfortunately and disastrously (and often unintentionally) neglect the fact that FIRST it is necessary to be shining our Light before our husbands.

This week's challenge is to remember Matthew 5:16 and work to apply it to our roles as Christian wives.  This role will not differ whether we have a Christian husband or not. No matter our location or condition, as much as is humanly possible (which is quite a lot when we fully utilize Christ's help), our behaviour as Christians should always mirror the command of Matthew 5:16.

Roadblock #1: The unbelieving husband

 It may seem quite challenging with a non-believing husband, whom may have certain "walls" up against recognizing Christ as the authentic and only way to heaven.  Perhaps his family upbringing has jaded him against Christ by mis-representing Christ or by simply teaching of an entirely different "God" (or lack thereof).  Perhaps, the non-believing husband just knows nothing at all about Christ beyond hearsay and "politically correct" misinformation from the media.  All of these circumstances are tragedies. Fortunately, our God is up to the task!

For with God nothing shall be impossible.  Luke 1:37 

Roadblock #2: The believing husband

On the other hand, it may seem challenging to a wife of a believer, even, whose husband expects certain Christ-like behaviours and takes them for granted. He may believe Christ-like behavior is simply the wife's required duty being done (rather than a product of her heart being committed to Christ). This could make it hard for you to show your husband the living Christ is at work in you, you are not just working to fulfill your responsibilities. 

With these and many other potential hurdles, what a challenge it is to show our husbands the living Christ in us!

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.  Matthew 19:26 

 So, why should we focus on showing our HUSBANDS the living Christ in us?

Because no man has ever seen God! Though, Jesus was here, declaring God to the world, for a brief time period, when Jesus ascended to heaven, he left it up to us to declare God to the world!  (yes, that most certainly includes our husbands!)

"No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him." John 1:18

"But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name" John 1:12

The Greek root word for "declare" in John 1:18 means "to consider out (aloud)" (KJV Strong's Exhaustive Concordance).  All that receive Jesus become sons of God. So, now it is our turn, as children of the Lord, to DECLARE God to the world, beginning with our husbands.

Your husband is the most important human in our world, to you (or he certainly should be) so begin by showing Christ to your husband!

How do you do this?  We declare Christ by learning about Him and then behaving as Christ tells us to behave.

You must declare to be an American (as a legal immigrant) by studying the U.S. Constitution, reading U.S. history, accepting U.S. laws and learning atleast enough English so you can pass the immigration tests and take the oath to become a U.S. citizen.  Then you may go on by working on an elections team, voting in elections, or possibly even signing up for military service. 

Declaring to be a Christian is equally involved. We must learn about God before we can declare Him and show his Light to anyone.  So, read your Bible. Discover the history of your God. Embrace his laws and commandments (the "Ten Commandments" are a good start on that).  Learn His "language" (a concordance is a great way to get to the real meaning of words you do not clearly understand).

Show your Light to your husband by the "fruit of the Spirit"!

 

 All Christians should persevere to exhibit these virtues.

 

 How greatly we will shine the Light of Christ, if we remember these virtues while interacting with our husbands!

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love,

 joy,

 peace,

 longsuffering,

 gentleness,

 goodness,

 faith,

Meekness,

 temperance:

against such there is no law."

Galatians 5:22-23

On an endnote, let us remember that we love God and accept His Light to lead our lives because He has forgiven us our many transgressions and sins.  Nobody would be reading the Bible today if God only condemned us and held our sins against us forever.
  In like manner, we must forgive our husbands for all of their transgressions and sins against us if we expect them to see and love the Light that is living in us.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (KJV) (underlined emphasis mine)

31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Luke 6:36-38 (KJV) (underlined emphasis mine)

36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.

 37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

 38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

The Bible is overflowing with God's wisdom for your marriage! I challenge you to dig for more, but have posted some additional detailed readings below that should keep us busy for quite some time!

Additional Detailed Readings:

Proverbs 31- great insight into Godly behaviour in women 
1 Peter 3 - The Man-Wife relationship
Colossians 3 - the Christian Family relationship

Proverbs 31:10-31

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
¹¹ The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
¹² She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
¹³ She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
¹⁵ She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
¹⁶ She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
¹⁷ She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
¹⁸ She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
¹⁹ She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
²⁰ She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
²¹ She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
²² She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
²³ Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
²⁵ Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
²⁶ She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
²⁷ She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
²⁹ Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
³⁰ Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

1 Peter 3

King James Version (KJV)

3 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

² While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
³ Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
⁴ But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
⁵ For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
⁶ Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
⁷ Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
⁸ Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
⁹ Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
¹⁰ For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
¹¹ Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

Colossians 3

King James Version (KJV)

3 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.

² Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
³ For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
⁴ When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.
⁵ Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
⁶ For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:
⁷ In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.
⁸ But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
⁹ Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;
¹⁰ And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:
¹¹ Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.
¹² Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
¹³ Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
¹⁴ And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
¹⁵ And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
¹⁶ Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
¹⁷ And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
¹⁸ Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
²⁰ Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
²¹ Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
²² Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God;
²³ And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
²⁴ Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
²⁵ But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.

 

Discovering PEACE in your marital relationship!

In searching for PEACE in our relationships with our husbands, I find it extremely comforting to read and helpful to apply some of Paul's words in Philippians 4. 

While usually, I am quite verbose and wordy on many topics, God's Word in our beloved Bible gives such wonderful guidance here that has helped me in so many ways, I have highlighted the verses that have brought particular help to me and pray that they will become instrumental in helping you achieve peace in and/or concerning your relationship with your husband.

Please, feel free to submit comments on any particular verse and how it has helped you or troubled you, I would love to hear from you and discuss your successes in applying certain verses directly to your life or have the opportunity to give examples of how I have been able to apply certain verses into my own life.

Philippians 4

King James Version (KJV)

4 Therefore, my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved.

² I beseech Euodias, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord.

³ And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life.

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.

⁵ Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.

⁶ Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

⁷ And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

⁹ Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

¹⁰ But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity.

¹¹ Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

¹² I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

¹³all thin I can do gs through Christ which strengtheneth me.

¹⁴ Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction.

¹⁵ Now ye Philippians know also, that in the beginning of the gospel, when I departed from Macedonia, no church communicated with me as concerning giving and receiving, but ye only.

¹⁶ For even in Thessalonica ye sent once and again unto my necessity.

¹⁷ Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account.

¹⁸ But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, an odour of a sweet smell, a sacrifice acceptable, wellpleasing to God.

¹⁹ But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

²⁰ Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

 

 

 

 

God loves YOU. 

God loves your marriage.

He ordained marriage and created it, recognizing man's need for a woman before women existed.  Additionally, God recognized your husband's need for YOU, BEFORE you or your husband existed and create you for your husband. 

While there may be a few or many things you would like to change about your husband, PEACE comes when you leave the changing of your husband up to the Holy Spirit while you focus on being the best wife you can be.  Pray for your husband fervently (see my previous Blog on Praying for your husband, if you would like some guidance in this) and apply God's principles directly to your life (as you can not and should not try to force them on your husband). 

 Accept God's PEACE in your life while you TRUST God to ultimately lead your husband.

God will reward you for your efforts to improve yourself and your relationship with your husband!Remember, Ruth 2:12 says:

"The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust."

Substitute "husband" for "brother" in the following verse:

Matthew 7:3-5

King James Version (KJV)

³ And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

⁴ Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

⁵ Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

 

Our God is sufficient for all of our needs!  TRUST HIM! 

 

2 Samuel 22:31

As for God,

 

 his way is perfect;

 

 the word of the Lord is tried:

 

 he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.

Yes! Honor & Obey your husband... but WORSHIP?

Many years ago in my quest to become a better wife I began taking daytime ladies Bible studies at my local church.  As I was first beginning I shared my joy with my Aunt Mary whom cautioned me to be wary of "women's" Bible studies that only serve to place women in servitude and treat women as lesser beings than men.  Having grown up respecting my aunt greatly, I forged forward in my studies with much scepticism.
          My scepticism seemed, for the most part, unfounded for many years...until recently (though I do study Bible guidebooks and studybooks with the fish-eater philosophy my Pastor teaches, "treat it like fish: eat the meat and spit out the bones".  He does not mean to ignore everything in the Bible that makes me uncomfortable or that I do not agree with.  He means we should gobble it all up, compare what is being taught to what we read in the actual Bible, and spit out anything that does not fully agree with God's Word in His Bible.
        So, one day this past summer, I picked up a book at a yard sale of which the title, "Me? Obey Him?" It sounded right up my alley.  Happily diving into another book on the Christian husband-wife relationship I enjoyed myself...for a while.  I was disconcerted when the auther asserted that God will never make a Christian woman choose between Him (God) and her husband.  She asserted that God gave us, Christian wives, our husbands with authority over us, so we should ALWAYS obey our husbands.  PERIOD.
          She claimed that even if the husband were not a Christian, God would never put the wife in the position to have to obey God OR her husband.  The author further claims that since God gives all authority and gives us our husbands to be heads over us that we should obey our husbands AS THOUGH THEY WERE GODS, even to the point of disobeying God Himself, claiming our husbands would be held responsible for our transgressions.  She claimed we would not be held accountable by God for our behaving sinfully as long as we were obeying our husbands.  WOW.
         I hope your hackles are up like mine were.  No wonder this woman's husband wrote her a raving review to publish in the beginning of her book.  She literally obeys him as though he is a God.  There are a good many decent Christian men out there whom would love better obedience from their wives (I hear about them regularly from my husband), but I also believe strongly that few of them would want obedience from their wife if she also truly believed she was disobeying God to obey her husband. Unfortunately for this book author, I am no long a reader of hers because I read my Bible too much. God very clearly states in his 10 commandments in Exodus 20:3 "Thou shalt have no other gods before me."  Additionally, we read in Acts 5:29, "Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men."
         After her third assertion that I obey my husband just as though he were a God, regardless of the sinfulness of the act he may be asking me to commit, I could read no longer.  I was UPSET.  She even insinuated strongly that if you obeyed your husband, agreeing to commit a sinful act and then actually committed the act (because God did not provide you a last minute way out of it), that you are not actually a good Christian because God would never make it necessary for a properly behaving CHRISTIAN wife to disobey her husband in order to obey God.)
        Obviously, there are many women who know this is ridiculous.  We know by meeting good and real Christian women who have had to disobey a husband to obey God and we know (most importantly) because God's Word addresses the issue.
     In 1 Corinthinans 7: 11 God addresses the issue of necessity of a wife leaving a husband, admonishing that if a wife leaves her husband (which God does not advise as ideal), then the wife should remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.  God does not support a wife ditching her husband to run off with another man.  He does, apparently, recognize the odd occasional need for a wife to put distance between herself and her husband (while remaining chaste) until they can be reconciled.  The only justifiable reasons I can think of for a wife leaving her husband would be for physical or mental self-preservation, as the situation would be if the husband is asking his wife to sin against God.  Sins against God may include breaking the 10 basic commandments or committing an abhoration to God.  Examples might include the husband wanting his wife to "swing" with another couple (where two couples essentially trade spouses for a night of unholy lust), wanting his wife to lie to an authority figure, have an abortion or steal. 
      Now, open communication is essential here (as I have mentioned in older Blogs).  You don't just up and  leave your husband when you believe he has asked you to sin against God.  First you go to God.  Check His Word " seek ye first the kingdom of God" (Matt 6:33) and be sure the Bible is unmistakedly clear that what he asks is a sin. Then choose a good time and place to discuss your belief with your husband (announcing the next time you see him, "I have looked in my Bible. You are wrong. I will not obey you." is an inflammatory attack, not a healthy opening for a discussion!)  If after a mature properly timed discussion, he is still insisting, you follow God's guidelines for resolving a dispute. (1st you speak to the offender. 2nd you speak to the offender with another person as a witness (this could be a strong Christian mutual friend or family member). 3rd, you go to your church (Pastor) for guidance.) -Matthew 18: 15-17 (see endnotes)-  However, it is amazing how many disputes can actually be resolved by just putting the proper time and effort into step 1.
       If you are unsure of how to prepare properly for step 1, just imagine you want an unusually pricey Christmas/Birthday present...what do you do?  You make yourself as agreeable as possible for a week or so, you make sure to dress nicely, attractively, for him, you cook some of his favorite meals, and then when you finally have some nice happy peaceful time alone together one eveing (if you have kids, this might take a week just to get a few moments of peaceful quiet to yourselves)  and you gently inform him of what you have been really hoping to receive.  Do the same to settle a major dispute.  It is just plain logic: When you start with as amicable an atmosphere as possible, (and remain the entire conversation committed to speaking in love, not yelling in frustration), it is amazing how seldom the atmosphere gets anything worse than uncomfortable on even the most tense topic.  If you start out tense and uncomfortable...it can and will only go downhill fast from there.
       Yes, we need to honor and obey our husbands, but we are NOT called to worship them as though they are Gods.  Our God is a jealous God and wants us to worship only Him (Acts 5:29 & Exodus 34:14).  We need to obey our husbands, but apply Matthew 22:21 to this. We "render ...unto Caesar (our husbands) the things which are Caesar's (our husbands); and unto God the things that are God's. 
       Simply put, if God does not forbid it, we are to trust and obey our husband, as he is our God-given leadership, held responsible by God to decide what is right for us.  Our husbands do not have the authority to override God.  Similar is the original U.S. Constitution that gives certain essential and critical authorities to the Federal government and reserves all other rights for the individual states.  Essential and critical authority over our lives is written and enforced by God, but all the rest is our husband's authority and responsibility.  You chose him (most likely, thought there are still arranged marriages), so love him, pray for him, and trust him with the responsibilities he has been given by God while you do your best to fulfill yours.
    

Endnotes:       

Exodus 20:3
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Acts 5:29
Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.
(emphasis mine).

Exodus 34:14
For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
Matthew 22:21
They say unto him, Caesar's. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's.
Colossians 3:21-23

²¹ Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

²² Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God;
²³ And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

Matthew 18:15-17

¹⁵ Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

¹⁶ But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
¹⁷ And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

1 Corinthians 7
¹⁰ And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
¹¹ But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
¹² But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
¹³ And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
¹⁵ But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
¹⁶ For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

Re-Assessing & Defeating Worldly Foes

Whatever the main challenge in your life is, remember the best way to conquer your challenge is not to do it for yourself, or another, but to do all things for Christ Jesus, Himself.



As Jesus advises us in a parable from Matthew 25:40,
"Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Let us also remember, that when we fail to act righteously and do good, it is the same as failing to do good to Christ Himself.


As Jesus answered in Matthew 25:45,
"Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me."

One of my very earthly challenges is the laundry of a six-person household. Lately, it has not been so disheartening though, after I re-assessed why I do what I do and made my heart right for the task.

This works with any and all challenges we confront as wives. Whether it is as simple as laundry or as complex as studying our husbands to be able to recognize and provide all of their physical needs (food, clothing, lusts, etc.) and emotional needs (support, appreciation, love, etc.)

As we may not always FEEL loving toward our husbands, remembering to do all things for Christ enables us to act right consistently, no matter what our feelings may be at the time.

For laughs, here is a poem I wrote for my current Creative Writing course, inspired by one of the most persistent challenges in my life:

Enemy Laundry

The ever-present enemy

of this busy stay-at-home mom

is not the dishes or the floors,

shopping or mowing the front lawn,

but persistent piles of laundry.

Yes, both the dirty and the clean

that must be washed or put away

and yet, are always in-between.

I must wash three loads on each day,

And this is the bare minimum,

I’ll miss today and then I’ll need:

seven loads; that just looks so glum.

I get a load well washed,

and hang it on the line.

I take a load all down

and fold it, just in time

to answer the front door, or cook

a meal, and then drive kids to class.

And the laundry sits there waiting

‘til I come home at last.

It will never run off and leave,

or go, like my old high-school beau.

Instead, it stays and it lingers…

and without attention: it grows!

If I could travel back and change

and thus avoid this fam’ly life

I could be single once again

without such laundry given strife.

But, I know I could not ever

go choose a life with me alone.

Such loneliness is not better

than a fam’ly and loving home.

And so the laundry continues

piling up more every day.

I’d rather teach, guide, love my kids,

cook meals or join with them to play.

I’ll happily never be rid

of this laundry and the “bother”:

the ever present enemy

of this busy at-home mother.

Galatians 6:9

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

"Mrs." or "Ms." . . . The Difference is . . .

Does it really matter whether or not, as a married woman, we use the title of “Mrs.” or “Ms.”?

Yes, it does. Now, this society of ours, that is constantly attempting to force the wide variety of people living in it to all act and believe like one another, wants us to forget about the “old-fashioned” and "separatist" use of “Mrs.” This “progressive” society has fallen prey to some over-zealous women’s rights activists whom decided that the letter “r” was suppressing and punishing women. Somehow, they decided married women being “forced” to use a 3-letter abbreviation (Mrs.) while men could use a 2-letter abbreviation (Mr.) was a definite sign of oppressing women and proof that women are made to work harder than men in everything (yes, I have actually heard this argued vehemently!

This view, of course, is absolutely absurd. But, sadly, many women bought into this lie, readily dropping the “r” from their title, to “prove” to men that they are their equals.

Now, I have lived in liberal California. I grew up there for the first 18 years of my life. I, too, had fully bought into the women’s rights system of beliefs for several years as a teenager and then as a young lady, on my own, in the world for several years. However, having the privilege to travel opened my mind to a more broad perspective of the world. Traveling and working in Europe and Asia gave me knowledge and understanding about people in general, various cultures, and the world as a whole. I was able to observe what seems to work and what does not work in regards to healthily functioning societies, regions, cities and families.

The fact of the matter is: women and men are different. Whether you are staunchly religious or atheist, FACTS all support the conclusion that men and women were created: (it does not matter by God or by mother-nature) differently. Men, as a general population group usually exhibit certain characteristics simply because they fall into the human category: male. Women, as a general population usually exhibit certain characteristics simply because they fall into the human category: female. And, these typical characteristics of males and females differ greatly from one to the other.

We (men and women) are all in the “human” broad category, which, of course, should grant us all equal HUMAN rights. These, I believe are addressed well in the original U.S. Constitution document. As humans, we should all have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We should have the right to worship (or not worship) the God of our choosing. When accused, we should all have a fair and speedy trial. Equal human rights does not translate, however, the way these modern feminists in society are trying to force it to. As Thomas Jefferson stated: “There is nothing more unequal than the equal treatment of unequal people.”

Women and men cannot and should not be treated identically for the primary cause, that we are not identical! Let’s face it, women and men actually have very little in common beyond the fact that we are of the same species and need one another to reproduce. Not even the extreme feminist woman will try to claim that men understand women just as well as other women do. They spout that there is absolutely no difference between women and men besides gender and social treatment, yet at the very next moment declare that no man will ever understand a woman like other women do…BECAUSE he is not a woman, never has been and never will be.

Trying to “gender-neutralize” this world removes from a woman many of the very useful tools she used to have, that gave her the respect and revered treatment that she no longer receives. Fortunately, for me, here in Texas, some semblance of chivalry still exists, at least in older men whom were taught to respect and revere women for the honorable position we play in society and the home. Yet, the further North I travel, the more that chivalry tends to lessen.

Additionally, I have yet to meet any married woman whom believes she worked harder before she got married than after. Yes, single women work very hard, sometimes as “hard” as a man might. However, married women work harder. Upon marriage, a woman must continue to take care of herself while also undertaking the responsibility of caring for her husband. Whether or not she continues to work outside the home, she assumes more responsibility and work after marriage than before. The laundry doubles, the size of meals cooked doubles, the amount of groceries bought doubles, the ironing probably more than doubles (nearly all of a man’s traditional business wardrobe must be pressed and starched, while women have many more washable fabric options for business attire, many of which require no pressing or starching; poor oppressed men!...after hundreds of years, they are still expected to wear starched button-downs, while we are able to adjust our clothing with the fashions of each season!), the size of "home" may increase (causing more housecleaning), and many other duties expand or are created for a woman upon marriage.

Now, I may be wrong, but I have never heard of a special award or medal of honor that a woman receives in the mail after she is married: that she can wear to show to the world that she is a hard working married woman. Some may argue that a ring on her left hand proclaims thus, but many women wear rings now, whom are not married declaring that it is their right to wear a ring on any finger they feel like. While these women are deceived into believing that wearing a ring on their left hand ring finger is a sign of their strong independence from the rut society tries to shove them into, all they really accomplish is to steal from themselves (someday) and from actually married women the significance and respect gained by wearing a ring to prove their honorable commitment to living with, loving, and devoted supporting their husband. Also, if a person is unable to see your left hand, how can you be observed as being married or, as this computer-run society functions, most people only interact with others by viewing papers on the screen of their computer. “Jane Smith” is just two words on the paper that gives further information about the name. “Ms. Jane Smith” simply reinforces that the person is female, as is fairly safely assumed by the first name of “Jane” being present.

ONLY “Mrs. Jane Smith” immediately communicates to any reader the fact that Jane Smith is married. Even more so, it communicates the fact that Jane wants the reader to know she is married.

I have observed, by interacting on many websites over the 10 years, that a significant change has been made in these last 10 years. Initially, forms nearly all required the person filling them out to check a box, referring to themselves as “Mr.” / “Mrs.” / “Miss” / or (sometimes)“Ms.” The first change I noticed was the option of “Miss” being completely dropped. Perhaps it was just trying to simplify the form, yet I heard it argued that women’s rights activists now want to be treated as "equals" with married women, and thus did not want to have to admit the status of "Miss", but would rather have only the ambiguous "Ms." as their option. "Ms." used to be recognized as a title feminists introduced, so to prevent being recognized as a feminist, they sought to drop out the “Miss”, forcing young unmarried women to all check the feminist-introduced box. Yet, that was not enough. As years have passed, now, most of the time, the “Mrs.” option has been removed as well. Most forms give only two options now: “Mr.” or “Ms”.

It was recognized as fairly pointless to have only those two options, as the only information you can attain from them is the general sex of the individual filling out the form, which is nearly always covered later on forms under “gender”. This may be part of the reason why so many forms no longer give the option to claim a title at all, as there is no useful information gained from “Mr.” or “Ms.” being chosen.

I see irony in how these feminists may claim that titles do not serve to aid anyone, as titles only serve as a form to discriminate one against another. Yet, these same feminists will not go to their yearly “woman’s health” check up if the one checking them has the wrong title by his name. Then it is required that the person they see exhibit the title of “Dr.” or “M.D.” or “D.O.” Just as a doctor receives recognition for his attainments by the title attached before or after his name, other individuals whom work hard to achieve something deserve to have titles. That is why there are so many titles, from CEO to CPT and CN to PA. When a human works hard to attain and maintain anything, recognition for that attainment is deserved and (oftentimes) necessary to keep that individual working hard and to help them keep progressing.

A woman whom marries has worked hard to become a woman that her man would want to marry. A woman whom stays married works even harder to maintain her marriage relationship and, if at all possible, to make it grow continually stronger and healthier.

A doctor attends many years of training to become a doctor. After he achieves his status, he must continue to participate in training to maintain his status as a doctor. A wife does the same: she works hard for many years to become a woman whom is desirable to a man as a wife-possibility. Upon marriage, a woman must continue to work hard to maintain her status of “wife”. Yet, thanks to feminists (whom claim they are looking out for women), nowadays, a wife is very frequently not even recognized with a simple "Mrs." of her honorable status of “wife.”

“Mrs.” is a wife’s hard worked for title, medal-of-honor, diploma, and declared degree of high-education. Married women need to stand against “feminists” and demand their title of honor be replaced. Women can do this by force or even petition. Let me show some examples:

When a form completely lacks a title option, I simply enter my first name as “Mrs Lori”. The first name boxes generally do not allow a period after the “s” of “Mrs”, but that little period is not a big deal to me; I relish the view when I receive the computer-generated emails addressing “Mrs Lori”. Maybe nobody notices. Maybe I am not making an impact as large as I could be by marching on Washington. But, maybe, somebody has noticed, somewhere, and it causes them to think about why “Mrs” is such a big deal to any female below the age of 80. It is time for a new “feminist” movement.

Let’s call it “feminism”. “Feminists” have lost the vision of the original feminists, whom wanted nothing more than equal human rights with men: the right to own property, the right to work equal jobs (equally hard) for equal pay and the right to vote, primarily. And, yes, the original feminists were still feminine. They still recognized and embraced the fact that they were women, not men. They wore dresses, had doors opened for them, had chairs pulled out for them, ate the first bite at meals, would never be left standing while a man sat, took pride in raising their own children, took pride in maintaining a nice clean home and properly laying out a table with a lovely supper. They took pride in being a young LADY as opposed to a young WOMAN. They took pride in being married women, whom enabled their husbands to become far more than they could become without the aid of their wonderful wife.

The endearing chivalrous respect from men and pride in their feminine accomplishments, modern (appx. 1960’s to present) feminists have robbed from their own sex. It has taken years for feminists to do so much damage to the image of women. It will take many years to undo the damage. But we can do so, one small step at a time: claiming back the many positives that were lost in the overzealous seeking to fix a few (legitimate) negatives of being born female.

Let's start by re-claiming our honorable, hard-worked-for title of high status: MRS.