Praying For Your Husband

What is on the top of your prayer list? What do you pray for the most? A job promotion? A new car? The salvation of a friend or family member? For your children to find a great Christian spouse? Or something simpler, like requesting a safe trip, a nice green lawn or a little "time-out" for doing your favorite leisure activity?

These are all legitimate prayer requests, after all, God wants us to speak to him about all of our concerns, large or trivial,and to ask him first for everything. Yet, which prayer will be most beneficial to your life? . . . . It is not listed above!

PRAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND! (yes, even if you do not yet have one!). Aside from accepting Christ as the ultimate Leader of your life, the man who is your husband (or someday will be) will have the LARGEST and most PROFOUND effect on your life. This being a fact, why do we not pray for our husbands more often and with more conviction? After all, we know they need our help! ( ^{Genesis 2:18}And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him).

Our husbands have an effect on our lives second only to God Himself. Let us pray first for our husbands. Our husbands are the avenue God personally uses to provide us with many of His promised provisions. Food, clothing, shelter, spiritual guidance... Even for a woman who works outside the home, the home she lives in would be considerably smaller, food quantities and qualities lower, and clothing less abundant if her husband was not providing as well.

I love this old story:

A man received notice the valley his home was located would soon be flooded in the creation of a new reservoir. The man loved his home much and loved God. He could not believe God would allow him to lose his home. The day before the valley was to be flooded, men in a truck came to help move the man out of his home. The man refused, proclaiming God would save his home from whatever the world might send. The men left.
The water began to rise steadily the next day until the man had to go onto the second story of his home to stay dry. Alas, a boat came with the same men from the previous day. They urged the man to come with them to safety while there was still time. The man again stoutly refused to leave, proclaiming God would save him and his home from the rising waters.
The water rose and rose until the man was standing on the very top of his rooftop, water lapping at this ankles. A helicopter came. The same men again, now desperately cried out to the man to grab hold of the rope that they could take him to safe dry ground. The man, water rising to his knees, declined their help, steadfastly shouting that his God would save him, that God would not allow him to lose his home or die from the rising waters. The helicopter left. The waters rose. The man drowned.
The man went to heaven and was confused. He asked God, " Lord, I trusted in You, just as You asked: to provide for me, to keep me safe from harm. Why did you not provide for me as you promised?"
God answered the man, " My son, I sent you a truck, a boat, and a helicopter, what more did you want?"

This is a fictional story, but also, perhaps, a modern parable. Let us be sure to recognize the primary instruments God has given us to provide His promises to us: OUR HUSBANDS.

The man prayed for God to help him, yet refused to recognize help when it was sent. Instead of accepting the truck, boat, or helicopter, and praying for his safe trip in them to dry land, he refused God's provision because it did not LOOK the way HE wanted it to look.

Your husband NEEDS you. (God says so)

Now, do not let your husband suffer from appreciation deprivation (or worse, a tug-of-war for power in the home) because you don't like the way God is providing for you:

ACCEPT your husband as God's provider for you.

PRAY for your husband, that God's provisions will flow through him, unhampered by his natural human tendencies. Pray for his work to be fruitful in spite of the FACT that he will all ways have to work against the laws of nature to provide.

TRUST that your life will be best this way; God's plan really is the GREATEST!

2 Samuel 22:31 (Trust God)
As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.

Luke 12: 27-31 (God will provide your needs)
²⁷Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

²⁸If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?

²⁹And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.

³⁰For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.

³¹But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Here is the tough one: (hey, God wrote this, not me, so take it up with HIM if you object!)

Genesis 3:16-19 (your husband will rule over you and your husband will have to WORK to provide for you)

¹⁶Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

¹⁷And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

¹⁸Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

¹⁹In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Accept God's plan for your marriage!

The rewards are ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDING!

THANK YOU for saving me! OH, MY HERO!

Thank you.

Heartfelt.

Real.

Thank him.

Yes, Your husband.

Teach your children to thank him.

Yes, Their father.

He is the God-proclaimed protector and provider of your home. Shall he work all day (or night) just to return home to hear about MOMMY THE HERO, who has bought this, or made that, and saved their child from untold woes?

Every Husband and/or Father has the innate desire to be the HERO for his family. Modern day does not dictate that he slay dragons, lions, or even Buffalo to do so. He can not move to a foreign land, homestead 400 acres and build a home to bring his family to. He often can not even carry his child in the front of his saddle and ride off to show them "what someday will be theirs".

So, how does a Husband or Father become a HERO today?

Simple. . . . his wife and children make him their hero.

Yes. It is up to YOU.

Let's review some FACTS:

Number 1: YOUR husband wants (and NEEDS) to be YOUR hero. He wants (and NEEDS) to be your CHILDREN'S HERO.
....your reaction: "no problem. I understand. I am ok with that. I want that too!"

Number 2: If YOU are filling the position of HERO in your family, HE can not.
....your reaction: "but I want to be my kid's hero too, ....but, yes, he can be also.....but why can't we both.... but I.....but, but, but....." mmm. hmmm. I read your mind.

If number 1 is easy, why is number 2 so hard? That goes back to Eve. Women have been disastrously trying to fill the God-designed role for men since the first woman on Earth; instead of embracing the AMAZING role God created us to fill:

NURTURER. Society has striven hard to give this word a negative connotation . . . and has been quite successful. . . yet horribly wrong.

Society wants you to be discouraged and frustrated with being given that label. Society wants you to think that as a "nurturer" you will be oppressed, repressed, fettered, encumbered, and shackled. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, these words in red are actually antonyms (opposites) of the word "nurture" per Webster's Merriam.com.

In truth, a NURTURER is one who: supplies nourishment, educates, and works to further the development of (others). True synonyms (similar words to) Nurturer are: cultivator, encourager, promoter.

Back to you and your husband now.

Will you do these things for him? Nourish him. Educate your children. Work to further the development of your marriage. Cultivate your relationship. Encourage your husband. Promote him. And maybe above all: THANK HIM, for all he does for you.

Stop trying to be your family's hero. Make your husband your hero. Make him your kid's hero. . . and he will truly become: YOUR HERO.

Remember though,
you must focus of filling your God-given role in the family (Nurturer),
to free up his role (Hero: protector, providor) for HIM!
Throw out that "position filled" sign
and put up the "HERO NEEDED",
you may be surprised how fast he will gladly fill it!

What can you do to make your husband your family's HERO today?

Proverbs 31: 10-12

¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

¹¹ The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

¹² She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Selfless Preparations for Time Spent with Your Husband

Today my children played out in the yard for several hours. The weather was beautiful, just perfect for playing "Princess". Anastasia was "Belle" and Catherine was "Cinderella". They were playing just behind their large set of play toys. Happily, no fussing, no bickering. . . that should have been a warning sign! Eventually they emerged, wearing their formal princess gloves, they were ready to go to the ball! Beautiful long gloves, extending to the upper arm, just above the elbow on Anastasia and to the upper arm on Catherine, PAINTED ON WITH DARK BROWN MUD! Indeed, they were ready for Prince Charming at the Ball! They had spent significant time preparing themselves to be appropriately attired.

How many of us wives still prepare ourselves for time with our husband as we did when we were dating / courting? Yes, the days when we spent considerable time being sure we exhibited perfectly clean shaven legs, perfect make-up, hair, and just the right clothing for the particular occasion of the day. Do we still put in that effort? Do we still prepare to see our husband with the care for detail needed to go to a ball?

I am the first to admit failure to this. We have 5 children, 4 at home (that are all under age 8). I am EXHAUSTED by the end of the day and used to feel that looking so as well helped to show my husband how hard I worked. I got out of the habit of making myself presentable to him a priority.

Inspired by an ancient "Good Housekeeping" article about how to prepare for Dad's return home from work, I made changes. Inspired by an article a relative sent me, in disgust that women would act in such a manner as to have taken this article seriously when it was printed - the 1950's. Her radical feminist comments did not make if far with me though, I thought the article had some good "common sense" advice (though being mathematically minded, I did not believe the list could be done in the 30 minutes - 1 hour they said it should take).

So, now, No, I still do not shave every day. No, I do not even wash my hair everyday. But I am making a definite effort to look in a mirror about 30 minutes before my husband returns from work or class and then tend to at least the basics. I re-brush my hair, make sure my mascara has not rubbed off (further adding to the dark circles all ready under my eyes from being able to count full nights sleep in the past 14 months on one hand), go brush my teeth, and make sure I have a clean shirt on. Perhaps, even a quick spray of perfume makes it to my wrists and neck.

Oddly enough, my husband verbally appreciates the work I do more now that I try to make light of it, than before when I wanted to bring up the topic myself(verbally and non-verbally).

Yes, the Bible says something about this too! . . . go figure, GOD is right AGAIN!! This can easily apply to any work we do that may leave a change in our appearance or demeanor, not just fasting.

Let's look in Matthew 6:16-17 (King James Version)

16Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

17But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face;

18That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.

LET US SEEK OUR TREASURE IN HEAVEN!

At long last!

I am incredibly grateful to be living my adventure of being a wife. By God's grace, I stumbled upon the book, "The Adventure of Being a Wife" by Mrs. Norman Vincent Peale around 4 years ago. A friend of mine and I were enjoying a very rare evening out at a local bookstore, while our husbands watched our many children. Both of us exhausted (physically, spiritually, & emotionally) we were browsing the marked down, clearance books when one caught my attention:
THE ADVENTURE OF BEING A WIFE, By Mrs. Norman Vincent Peale
I thought, "now there is a DIFFERENT perspective than we hear these days! I want to read that!". Drawing the book from the shelf, I scanned the chapter headings briefly , "study your man, when in-laws become out-laws, ...", POTENTIAL!, I thought. So, I purchased my random book from the clearance bin and that is how it all began!
I am hooked. I have read and re-read this book numerous times. It is full of TIMELESS wisdom of how to live "The Adventure of Being a Wife". I highly recommend it to all young ladies considering marriage, and all ladies who are married. Why should we learn the hard way, when another lady has all ready explained it so simply for us?
I challenge you to buy a copy, they are usually available on AbeBooks.com or Alibris.com for $4.00-$5.50. Compared to $40-$75 /hr for counseling that may or may not help, you can't afford to miss this opportunity to improve your marriage.
Then, if you want, join this blog, and share your experiences implementing these amazing techniques into your marriage. I assure you, they are great. Your marriage is worth it. You CAN live out your commitment, and ENJOY it as you do!