Does it really matter whether or not, as a married woman, we use the title of “Mrs.” or “Ms.”?
Yes, it does. Now, this society of ours, that is constantly attempting to force the wide variety of people living in it to all act and believe like one another, wants us to forget about the “old-fashioned” and "separatist" use of “Mrs.” This “progressive” society has fallen prey to some over-zealous women’s rights activists whom decided that the letter “r” was suppressing and punishing women. Somehow, they decided married women being “forced” to use a 3-letter abbreviation (Mrs.) while men could use a 2-letter abbreviation (Mr.) was a definite sign of oppressing women and proof that women are made to work harder than men in everything (yes, I have actually heard this argued vehemently!
This view, of course, is absolutely absurd. But, sadly, many women bought into this lie, readily dropping the “r” from their title, to “prove” to men that they are their equals.
Now, I have lived in liberal California. I grew up there for the first 18 years of my life. I, too, had fully bought into the women’s rights system of beliefs for several years as a teenager and then as a young lady, on my own, in the world for several years. However, having the privilege to travel opened my mind to a more broad perspective of the world. Traveling and working in Europe and Asia gave me knowledge and understanding about people in general, various cultures, and the world as a whole. I was able to observe what seems to work and what does not work in regards to healthily functioning societies, regions, cities and families.
The fact of the matter is: women and men are different. Whether you are staunchly religious or atheist, FACTS all support the conclusion that men and women were created: (it does not matter by God or by mother-nature) differently. Men, as a general population group usually exhibit certain characteristics simply because they fall into the human category: male. Women, as a general population usually exhibit certain characteristics simply because they fall into the human category: female. And, these typical characteristics of males and females differ greatly from one to the other.
We (men and women) are all in the “human” broad category, which, of course, should grant us all equal HUMAN rights. These, I believe are addressed well in the original U.S. Constitution document. As humans, we should all have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We should have the right to worship (or not worship) the God of our choosing. When accused, we should all have a fair and speedy trial. Equal human rights does not translate, however, the way these modern feminists in society are trying to force it to. As Thomas Jefferson stated: “There is nothing more unequal than the equal treatment of unequal people.”
Women and men cannot and should not be treated identically for the primary cause, that we are not identical! Let’s face it, women and men actually have very little in common beyond the fact that we are of the same species and need one another to reproduce. Not even the extreme feminist woman will try to claim that men understand women just as well as other women do. They spout that there is absolutely no difference between women and men besides gender and social treatment, yet at the very next moment declare that no man will ever understand a woman like other women do…BECAUSE he is not a woman, never has been and never will be.
Trying to “gender-neutralize” this world removes from a woman many of the very useful tools she used to have, that gave her the respect and revered treatment that she no longer receives. Fortunately, for me, here in Texas, some semblance of chivalry still exists, at least in older men whom were taught to respect and revere women for the honorable position we play in society and the home. Yet, the further North I travel, the more that chivalry tends to lessen.
Additionally, I have yet to meet any married woman whom believes she worked harder before she got married than after. Yes, single women work very hard, sometimes as “hard” as a man might. However, married women work harder. Upon marriage, a woman must continue to take care of herself while also undertaking the responsibility of caring for her husband. Whether or not she continues to work outside the home, she assumes more responsibility and work after marriage than before. The laundry doubles, the size of meals cooked doubles, the amount of groceries bought doubles, the ironing probably more than doubles (nearly all of a man’s traditional business wardrobe must be pressed and starched, while women have many more washable fabric options for business attire, many of which require no pressing or starching; poor oppressed men!...after hundreds of years, they are still expected to wear starched button-downs, while we are able to adjust our clothing with the fashions of each season!), the size of "home" may increase (causing more housecleaning), and many other duties expand or are created for a woman upon marriage.
Now, I may be wrong, but I have never heard of a special award or medal of honor that a woman receives in the mail after she is married: that she can wear to show to the world that she is a hard working married woman. Some may argue that a ring on her left hand proclaims thus, but many women wear rings now, whom are not married declaring that it is their right to wear a ring on any finger they feel like. While these women are deceived into believing that wearing a ring on their left hand ring finger is a sign of their strong independence from the rut society tries to shove them into, all they really accomplish is to steal from themselves (someday) and from actually married women the significance and respect gained by wearing a ring to prove their honorable commitment to living with, loving, and devoted supporting their husband. Also, if a person is unable to see your left hand, how can you be observed as being married or, as this computer-run society functions, most people only interact with others by viewing papers on the screen of their computer. “Jane Smith” is just two words on the paper that gives further information about the name. “Ms. Jane Smith” simply reinforces that the person is female, as is fairly safely assumed by the first name of “Jane” being present.
ONLY “Mrs. Jane Smith” immediately communicates to any reader the fact that Jane Smith is married. Even more so, it communicates the fact that Jane wants the reader to know she is married.
I have observed, by interacting on many websites over the 10 years, that a significant change has been made in these last 10 years. Initially, forms nearly all required the person filling them out to check a box, referring to themselves as “Mr.” / “Mrs.” / “Miss” / or (sometimes)“Ms.” The first change I noticed was the option of “Miss” being completely dropped. Perhaps it was just trying to simplify the form, yet I heard it argued that women’s rights activists now want to be treated as "equals" with married women, and thus did not want to have to admit the status of "Miss", but would rather have only the ambiguous "Ms." as their option. "Ms." used to be recognized as a title feminists introduced, so to prevent being recognized as a feminist, they sought to drop out the “Miss”, forcing young unmarried women to all check the feminist-introduced box. Yet, that was not enough. As years have passed, now, most of the time, the “Mrs.” option has been removed as well. Most forms give only two options now: “Mr.” or “Ms”.
It was recognized as fairly pointless to have only those two options, as the only information you can attain from them is the general sex of the individual filling out the form, which is nearly always covered later on forms under “gender”. This may be part of the reason why so many forms no longer give the option to claim a title at all, as there is no useful information gained from “Mr.” or “Ms.” being chosen.
I see irony in how these feminists may claim that titles do not serve to aid anyone, as titles only serve as a form to discriminate one against another. Yet, these same feminists will not go to their yearly “woman’s health” check up if the one checking them has the wrong title by his name. Then it is required that the person they see exhibit the title of “Dr.” or “M.D.” or “D.O.” Just as a doctor receives recognition for his attainments by the title attached before or after his name, other individuals whom work hard to achieve something deserve to have titles. That is why there are so many titles, from CEO to CPT and CN to PA. When a human works hard to attain and maintain anything, recognition for that attainment is deserved and (oftentimes) necessary to keep that individual working hard and to help them keep progressing.
A woman whom marries has worked hard to become a woman that her man would want to marry. A woman whom stays married works even harder to maintain her marriage relationship and, if at all possible, to make it grow continually stronger and healthier.
A doctor attends many years of training to become a doctor. After he achieves his status, he must continue to participate in training to maintain his status as a doctor. A wife does the same: she works hard for many years to become a woman whom is desirable to a man as a wife-possibility. Upon marriage, a woman must continue to work hard to maintain her status of “wife”. Yet, thanks to feminists (whom claim they are looking out for women), nowadays, a wife is very frequently not even recognized with a simple "Mrs." of her honorable status of “wife.”
“Mrs.” is a wife’s hard worked for title, medal-of-honor, diploma, and declared degree of high-education. Married women need to stand against “feminists” and demand their title of honor be replaced. Women can do this by force or even petition. Let me show some examples:
When a form completely lacks a title option, I simply enter my first name as “Mrs Lori”. The first name boxes generally do not allow a period after the “s” of “Mrs”, but that little period is not a big deal to me; I relish the view when I receive the computer-generated emails addressing “Mrs Lori”. Maybe nobody notices. Maybe I am not making an impact as large as I could be by marching on Washington. But, maybe, somebody has noticed, somewhere, and it causes them to think about why “Mrs” is such a big deal to any female below the age of 80. It is time for a new “feminist” movement.
Let’s call it “feminism”. “Feminists” have lost the vision of the original feminists, whom wanted nothing more than equal human rights with men: the right to own property, the right to work equal jobs (equally hard) for equal pay and the right to vote, primarily. And, yes, the original feminists were still feminine. They still recognized and embraced the fact that they were women, not men. They wore dresses, had doors opened for them, had chairs pulled out for them, ate the first bite at meals, would never be left standing while a man sat, took pride in raising their own children, took pride in maintaining a nice clean home and properly laying out a table with a lovely supper. They took pride in being a young LADY as opposed to a young WOMAN. They took pride in being married women, whom enabled their husbands to become far more than they could become without the aid of their wonderful wife.
The endearing chivalrous respect from men and pride in their feminine accomplishments, modern (appx. 1960’s to present) feminists have robbed from their own sex. It has taken years for feminists to do so much damage to the image of women. It will take many years to undo the damage. But we can do so, one small step at a time: claiming back the many positives that were lost in the overzealous seeking to fix a few (legitimate) negatives of being born female.
Let's start by re-claiming our honorable, hard-worked-for title of high status: MRS.
