Telling the truth when someone asks us our opinion, when we know we are surrounded by others that believe the same as we do, is easy. However, most of the time, when we are called upon to speak truth, we are not surrounded by bunches of like-minded individuals. Oftentimes there are one or more individuals listening that will disagree strongly with what we say, argue a different opinion, call us liars for speaking truth, or outright attack us for speaking the truth. Other times we may be able to benefit innocent people by speaking the truth, but possibly only at the cost of ostracizing ourselves from others who don’t want the truth known, or just don’t want us to be “interfering or participating” for any reason whatsoever.
Sometimes we are tempted to lie, maybe it is just a little “white lie”, to be “nice” or to try to protect someone from truth. Or maybe we just withhold certain parts of the truth (or all of it) in order to create a different impression than the whole truth, or the truth would present.
As Christians, we are called to speak the truth…but when?
God proclaims His commandments to us in the Bible. He tells us not to lie (bear false witness) and he tells us when to tell the truth, so we can clearly understand:
In Exodus 20:16, God commands us “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.” We are not to speak lies. In Exodus 23:1, God furthers, “Thou shalt not raise a false report: put not thine hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness.” God points our we should not only not lie, but that in lying, we are working with the wicked and not acting righteously. God reveals to us later in His word, how seriously he considers the sin of lying in Matthew 15:19, when he says, “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.” God considers lying so great a sin, he lists it in the middle of a list of sins he abhors, including murder, adultery (married people being sexually intimate with someone other than their spouse), fornicators (non-married people being sexually intimate with anyone), thieves, and those who speak lies about God Himself. Clearly, to God there is no such thing as a “little white lie”.
What about withholding a little truth to “protect” someone or so that you do not have to become involved in a situation that you don’t feel like (or have been warned against) being involved in? We can very clearly read that it is a sin to lie, but is it a sin to withhold truth?
In Proverbs 12:17, God advises “He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit.” God points out that you must speak truth to shew that you are righteous, He points our that a false witness shows deceit. There is not “gray” area in God’s book. You either speak truth righteously, or you are a liar. Withholding truth is the same as a lie. Subsequently, in Proverbs 8:7, God reiterates, “For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.” Speaking truth is noted as being good, while anything other than speaking truth is “an abomination”. Zechariah 8:16 states, “These are the things that ye shall do; Speak ye every man the truth to his neighbour; execute the judgment of truth and peace in your gates…” God does not “recommend” that we speak the truth. God does not “suggest” we speak the truth. God tells us what we SHALL (will) do (speak the truth to our neighbor) if we obey God. God recognizes that the world may judge us harshly and we may be called names simply for speaking truth. This is recognized in Acts 26:25 when a disciple is accused of having gone crazy, “But he said, I am not mad, most noble Festus; but speak forth the words of truth and soberness.”
There is no “gray” area in the Bible. If you are not a liar, you tell the truth. Simply not speaking is not acceptable by God’s standards. Ceasing to lie and beginning to speak the truth have ZERO space between them by God’s standards. He reiterates yet again in Ephesians 4:25, “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.” God shows us how when we stop lying, we speak the truth. He even explains why, for we all have an impact on one another. A lie (or absence of truth) does not just impact us or whom we lie (or withhold information concering) about, as we are all “members one of another”. Everything we do impacts others and everything they do has an impact on us, in a continuing circle.
In Genesis 12, Abraham fears the Pharaoh of Egypt will kill him for his beautiful wife, Sarai. In fear, Abraham withholds some truth (that Sarai is his wife), while only speaking that she is his sister (she was, in fact, his half-sister). Thus, when the Pharaoh saw how beautiful Sarai was and commanded his guards to bring her to him, Abraham was not killed. However, God was displeased and sent a plague down on Pharaoh’s house until Pharaoh figured out how he had been deceived into taking a married woman into his home (and was going to make her his wife), and returned Sarai to Abraham. Abraham was commanded to take Sarai and leave the country. This may sound well and good as an outcome for Abraham, but let’s not forget that at that time, the reason Abraham went to Egypt was because the land God had given him was having a “grievous…famine”. Abraham could not just go back where he came from. He had to leave the prosperous Egypt during a time of famine elsewhere because of his withholding truth. And his actions did not just negatively impact him (he had to leave a land of plenty during a time of famine), but had a negative impact on all those around him (his wife nearly had a consummated relationship with the Pharaoh, which would have made her an adultress, and the Pharaoh’s house was struck by a plague). Clearly, by God’s judgement, withholding truth is just as problem causing and sinful as “outright” lies.
So, when should we tell the truth? We must tell the truth at all times. How much of the truth should we speak? We should speak the entire truth, all the time (without adding anything to it). To whom must we tell all the truth all the time? We must tell everyone the whole truth all the time. Speaking truth is not conditional on where we are, who we are with, or how much (or little) another person wants us to say. Just as witnesses in a court of law are required to “swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”, so are Christians commanded by God to behave at all times in all circumstances.
We careful though, do not falsely use God’s commandment to speak truth in its’ entirety to justify unnecessary or overt bluntness of your words. Tact is absolutely Biblical. We are reminded of Godly truth in Psalm 117:2, “For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the LORD endureth for ever. Praise ye the LORD.” The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:26 is described in how “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” We are advised, as Christians that are to be leading a life that is able to lead others to our wonderful savior by exhibiting our savior through ourselves, in Colossians 3:12-13 to “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
So speak the truth. Speak truth in its’ entirely. Speak truth every time, all of the time. Speak truth no matter whom may not wish for you to do so (for God is your Lord, demands the truth of you, and the opponents of truth here on earth are no match for God. He will be ever faithful to you, especially when men are not). However, speak with kindness, love and compassion, as the truth is sometimes hard for another to hear, just as sometimes it is hard for us to speak.
Yes, fellow wives, this applies to your husbands as well. We must speak the truth to our husbands, all the time, every time. However, be sure to consider how you can speak the truth with kindness, love and compassion.
How do you do this? Choose a manner and mode that are as positive as possible in all other avenues. Consider your timing. Consider your appearance. Consider your tone of voice. Consider your physical condition (nobody shows love and patience most effectively when they are hungry, sick, or otherwise physically hurting). Consider the past: which times have been good to speak about certain topics and which times have been not so good. Be sure though, not to use the ploy of “waiting for the right time” to speak to avoid the confrontation to the point that the problem has compounded and grown (though, if you have already done that, it is better to speak up now, as waiting even longer is only going to compound the damage). Waiting a few hours or a couple days to discuss a certain topic can certainly be preferable (I have heard that famous first lady, Barabara Bush never disagreed with her husband in public, but would always wait until they were alone to speak of her upsets. She understood the high value of supporting her husband in all manners in public, and in reasoning her differences of opinion only in private). So, use caution and common sense, as waiting weeks, months, or years is usually disastrous, as you cross into the zone of “withholding truth” when you wait too long to speak, and will, of course, suffer consequences for such. For, when we are not acting righteously, God will correct us and give us consequences, just as we do our own children when they are not behaving honorably.
The truth is honorable and acceptable unto our Lord and we must strive heartily for His approval, for it is of value far above and beyond any we receive here on earth.
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